1.I have an art tumblr as of last year or so.>>>.It's still pretty small and boring, but eventually, I'll post more there.
2. School has eaten my money and work has eaten up my time. This my life now. These are my choices. I will look at them and weep with remorse I guess, except remorse isn't even going to cross my mind when I'm done with school and work and more weeping.
3.Scanner is sorta broken. Scans thing in a little skewed.Still haven't found any time to try and fix it. For now, I am probably going to post any sketches or works in progress in PHOTO FORMAT, meaning there are gonna be some crappy photos of sketches everywhere and anywhere in places where i post stuff like that anyway.
4.I still haven't animated anything proper.
5. Still no proper comics either.
6.Augh. Legend of Korra is still apparently a year away..............................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
.................. I think I need to lie down.
7.Atleast these are coherently numbered, unlike my actual main tumblr blog(it's horrible, i can assure everyone this)
8. I'm gonna have to make some extra moments for drawing times. I have no idea how i'm gonna do that.
9. Strangely enough, when I'm in school or at work, ideas and thoughts keep flowing and flowing like a free stream of rivers, gushing through the ground like nobody's beezwax(business). However, during free time, like last year, when I was both school-less and (mostly)jobless, it's as if the perpetual(nay, metaphorical) well had dried up, and refused it's magyks to me, entirely out of it's own free will, as if school and work totes had something to do with ideas that could be good and continuous and thoughts that didn't lack the mind. What I'm trying to say here - will this ever stop? Am I going to have to go to school forever, to keep up with my artistic pursuits? Certainly not. But this seems like a probable thing if I keep my own bad habits still at hand. And this has been a recurring thing I've thought about ever since about mid-middle school or so, eventually developing into a fear, which sort of manifests itself now, as I keep being more and more confused about my life. A fear that I might not be able to keep going , even if I keep my spirits strong and head high on good ideas and cold anger(perpetual logic or such). One thing is sure, and that sure thing I must keep going at, at all times. But it's kinda difficult to keep up with other more pressing matters. Like family things and things that don't matter much at all. I've been considering moving out from either of my parents' homes, but that is not what a solution makes. I want to keep doing what I do, but I don't want to drift away from my family, or not help them But at the same time, how many people could see things the way I see them? No one.
10. Augh, it's not like other people don't go through with things too, but I needed to get it off my chest.
11. Somewhere there is an alternate-universe me, who decided to keep drawing instead of making a blog post, but I felt pretty compelled to do one anyway, so why the hey not.
12. Oh yeah my computer is kinda broke too. I am writing on it right now, but each time I do something more memory-consuming, like saving images, writing bigger files, browsing the net or animating, it gets this warning message. I've been anticipating the comp's death for a while now, but it hasn't quite happened yet. Before it does however, I'll be sure to bring it somwhere, where someone can fix it. For now, step-by- step, one small thing at a time. Like writing blog-posts.
13. Above this text-wall, I've added some images, because I am too lazy to cut and paste them over here, under the text.
14.Essays. What is it about essays, that I can't write them in my own language? Perhaps this is because through my education, I've developed this sort of pedantic approach to writing - especially in estonian. I can't write a wall of text like I usually do, such as within this blog post here, because I start nit-picking. and I do this with english texts too, but when writing in estonian, it's almost like I pick the out variety, or, the chance of somthing interesting happening with the text and it's meaning. I nit-pick on the grammar, the syntax and over. all, I just get no writing done at all! This is with any kind of writing I do, but just moreso, in my native tongue. I got an essay done for a class in my university. I got a B for that, and a little feedback. So, the problem must not be in my writing, so much as how I've grown accustomed to different types of writing. Moreso, I am just more comfortable with writing in english, because I use it in written word, more than, estonian. This might seem problematic, but really, at least I'm writing at all. Still, I should find some cause and purpose here. ( This is the moment in a text, I usually think, 'augh, I CAN'T WRITE THIS ANYMORE,' because I've just run out of good threads to tun through my sentence-checking mindset.)
!%. - Even when I try to make a simple blog post in estonian, it usually falls flat down into 'whining about life, etc.' territory, or I'm just making half-angry poems about school and things I'm angry about. There is no calm or cold logic to it during the writing process. Even simple phrases escape my grasp, and de-volve into something overly complex, as if I am trying to mimic the way I write in english. This falls almost under the 'you have google translate syndrome'-thing, that I sometimes use as a description for when someone translates sentences as if they are using GT to translate, not one word at a time, (combining meanings from the first language separately into one coherent sentence in the other language,) but as one sentence altogether, resulting in a really, really bad translation, that neither party can discern as their own original meaning really. See, what I'm trying to say is - wow, I can't write in a simple way at all. This awkwardness with language translates into my estonian writing as well,in the worst ways possible. See, I even try to write in this aloof way, but it still comes across as awkward. Augh I dunno.
!&. I thing I've always thought would remedy this, was to make some estonian-language comics of my own. This could possibly remedy the gap I feel when I try to express the same thought I just wrote in english, in estonian too. And not just make my own comics,( though that is still one ultimate goal I have in mind,) but to translate comics I liked into estonian as well! I did this with Team Pärvelö's comics in august 2011. But then our cat died and I gave up doing anything willfully forever.
-I'm still trying to finish some translation's as of now, but I feel pretty un-motivated most times and don't have the energy or computer-power or time to actually work on anyhitng at a steady pace.
16. There is actually one thing I fear with any english to estonian comics adaptations, but especially with comics I might make on my own. That I'll make them too "western" or not original and honest enough, and the translation's/ language will be stiff, unreadable. But again, I think about these things a lot too, and this is a thing I think I can resolve if I just lead myself down the path of experimantation and interest.
Maybe I should be afraid that the comics themselves will get too foreign and boring and unoriginal.
17.That's okay, as long as I can keep a text straightforward, and the message still comes through clearly, with minimal amounts of useless garbage talk, it's okay if the estonian or translated texts are a little wonky and/or square. Wait, is it okay though? Augh. A thought connects to a thought and a sentence makes sense after another sentence, in connection with the meanings in all the other sentences. I should write post like this in eatonian like, every day, but again, the whole direct - translation issue, which isn't really an issue, since, if I don't practice writing how am I supposed to make anything criticism worthy at all?(waaaaiiit.... this wan't about criticism, I just want all of my blogs to have coherent writing and text and thoughts in them. Hhhrrngjhldskjdsf i need to draw more...........)
18. Geeze-louise, this is a lot of writing.This is what highschool did to me, I'm not sure whether this is bad or good, I just want to keep drawing, but apparently that doesn't bring home the bacon! .... but good writing can? Can I at least describe myself without sounding a little self-deprecating???
19.Derp, this is longer than 19 points probably, but might not be.
Okay, I think that's it! That's all I can write for tonight/this night/morning anyway. Continued to more writing on more blogs. .... maybe? Prooobably.
